54

A high school friend just sent me a picture of myself likely around 35 year old Adam. I put it side by side with my current profile pic and clearly noticed some dramatic differences. While my physical age has advanced 20 years, I feel stronger, look healthier, and have a presence in my gaze that alluded me at 35. I’m objectively doing better and would register younger by all metrics. Another friend just told me at lunch today that I look younger now than then. #egoboost #stopitsomemore And herein lies the question…is age just a construct?

It’s not just me. Many people I know are embracing aging and showing up for themselves and it shows. I take so much inspiration from these warriors. Take Jennifer Kesteloot's most recent profile update – the tranquil and confident look in her eyes – there’s an air of calm and presence there. It’s so clear! Sarah Glicken is radiating health and wellness the past few years and even giving talks on the subject. Ari Brandt went vegetarian and is slimmer than when we were roommates in college. You’d think Tony Cardoza couldn’t be more handsome, but the old bastard is taking care of himself and it shows. On and on the list goes… I see you Beryl Brett Jacobson (mini Jeff Goldblum), Eric Ian Schwartz, Nicole Johnson, (and so many others not pictured yet so inspiring… Amir, Greg, Dan, Julie, Stu & Jodi, Marshall, Ryan, Erin, Peter, on and on and on).

So what’s the secret sauce? How do we approach our senior years with physical, mental, and spiritual alignment to improve rather than wither? We’re constantly bombarded with options. Eat this diet. Follow that exercise routine. Supplements, bio-hacks, miracle drugs, therapy, meditation, oh my. Who wouldn’t want to turn back time, feel better, look younger, have less stress?

For each of us our challenges may be different and we need to respond to them in our own unique ways. We also face some common roadblocks. Our bodies are pushing back and it’s harder to rally to exercise, eat well, manage pain, and avoid injuries. Our metabolisms have slowed so it’s harder to keep the weight off, plus we don’t need as much nutrition and most still follow a 3-meal-a-day regimen. We experience seasonal depression, battle food (think sugar and carbs) addictions, have lower testosterone, menopause for the ladies, all while facing the fact that many of our lives have not turned out as we dreamed. What a recipe for midlife!

So if age is but a construct, there’s no denying the empirical effects are very real. Yet we can still overcome. The key, the secret sauce, the holy grail is actually a simple principle… discipline. All of the people I’ve pictured here practice some form of discipline that I admire and seek to emulate in my own way. Food related shit: eat healthier, intermittent fast, eat less – discipline! Exercise: get your ass up and just do it, whatever it is - lift weights, do yoga, run, walk… just fucking do something – discipline! Spiritually, whatever you’re into, get off your ass and do it… meditate daily if that’s your thing, dive into your work, play music, paint, sew, travel, write code, write a novel - whatever gets your rocks off, make the time to show up for yourself – discipline! Mentally & emotionally: rid yourselves of dead weight, set boundaries, get married, get divorced, take mushrooms, go on yoga retreats, quit your job, start a business - just do it with discipline.

Discipline starts in our minds. We all have negative voices that send us down errant paths if we listen to them. The disciplined mind gently acknowledges them and kindly says ‘fuck off’. We are so easily drawn into living in the imaginary past (it just doesn’t exist anymore except in your mind) or projecting our fears into an imaginary future. Next time you’re wrestling with something, notice in which of those imaginary boxes it falls into and realize that this is keeping you from reality, here, now, the present. And offer a gentle ‘fuck off’ to that too.

Most of you are nearing your 50s or well into them and beyond. Some of us need to hear this, as a reminder, as a drum beat, as a mantra while figuring out what’s next. Whatever it takes to turn back the clock, get healthy, get ripped, find peace of mind, find joy, find love of self… it’s all in front of us when we’re determined to discover it and disciplined to achieve it.

So for my birthday, I want to thank and honor these people who give me inspiration every day. It’s through this hive mind that I’ve summoned the will to be better, full stop. Take it for what it’s worth. If you needed that little kick in the ass, there it is. You’re not alone. Get after it. If you’re in the groove, comment what keeps you motivated and disciplined. Post your pic in your flow, dropped in, present, feeling fit, showing that age is truly construct and you’re not ready to go gently into that goodnight.